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Parents in recovery : navigating a sober family lifestyle
2024
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Mental health and drug and alcohol counselor Benton, who had already experienced seven years of recovery from an alcohol-use disorder before becoming a parent, wrote this guide to help parents and their families. This all-inclusive resource includes counsel for couples' relationships, work and life balance, self-care, and even career navigation. Her book shows that parenting and addiction recovery are both arduous, and removing a substance doesn't necessarily eliminate the behaviors that sparked and fueled the substance-use disorder. Benton asserts that a recovery lifestyle must be formed with a new pattern of beliefs and actions, allowing for ongoing growth which reduces the potential for relapse. Each chapter concludes with tips from other parents in recovery, and there are a few entries from the author's own journal as well. She views recovery as a time of reclaiming identity, and this book equips readers to find balance, handle mental health conditions, form long-term plans, and more. She also addresses feelings of shame and concerns about children inheriting the genetic components of substance-use disorder. VERDICT This book is an essential resource that fills a gap in offerings for parents in recovery. It shows readers the necessity for self-compassion while guarding for vulnerabilities.
Booklist Review
"Parenting is hard. Recovery is hard," says Benton. When you combine the two, the challenges multiply. For parents in recovery (PIRs), the process of recovery is so much more than just stopping drug and alcohol abuse. There are physical, psychological, social, and spiritual issues that carry over for years. Benton, who had seven years of recovery before she became a mother, knows the struggles firsthand. Addiction, by nature, drives the user inward; parenting, by nature, requires an outward focus. Benton interviews parents in various stages of recovery, sharing their personal stories. Addiction is a family disease, says the author, and often counseling can help the PIR, other parent, and children set boundaries and give support. She discusses parenting styles, the need to find an identity and take time for self-care, and how to cope with the additional burden of mental illness. She offers helpful suggestions from PIRs on the front line for social living while sober. Each chapter ends with journal excerpts citing Benton's personal experience. Parents facing these challenges will feel understood and supported.
Summary

"For parents in recovery (PIRs), the process of recovery is so much more than just stopping drug and alcohol abuse.... Parents facing these challenges will feel understood and supported." - Booklist
"I am just like other parents, except..."

Parents in Recovery is not a book about "how" to parent. It is also not a book about "how" to get sober. Instead, it is meant to be a guide for parents in recovery (PIRs) from substance use disorders that provides insights and strategies for coping with the many unique and not so unique, challenges they may face. It is also intended to give the loved ones and families of PIRs an inside look at this world and explain why certain changes and behaviors are necessary to maintain long-term recovery. Each chapter is an integration of research, the voices of parents in recovery, input from addiction treatment experts, parent recovery wisdom suggestions and the author's past journal accounts. This guidebook can support mothers and fathers in navigating their way through parenting with a sober lifestyle--which includes physical, emotional, social, spiritual, behavioral, environmental, and vocational wellness. It is written for those who have embraced sobriety before, during or after becoming a parent and can serve as a "job-aid" on this journey. Key topics include love and marriage, family systems, work and life balance, self-care, parenting types, sober socializing, coping with hard times, mental health and recovery pride. This book also addresses modern-day challenges, including the use of electronics, social media, career identity, social trends, non-traditional parental roles and living in a post-COVID-19 pandemic world. While many parents feel shame associated with aspects of their addiction, this book emphasizes the gifts and accomplishments of being in recovery and how they positively impact the entire family system.

Table of Contents
Introductionix
1Recovery as a Lifestyle1
2The Intrinsic and Extrinsic Parenting Continuum17
3Family, Marriage, and Partnership31
4Get a Life: Finding a Personal and Professional Identity49
5Self-Care Is Not Optional67
6Coping with Hard Times83
7Staying Sane: Recovery from Mental Health Conditions101
8The Dog Years: Coping with the Most Challenging Stages119
9Buzzkill: Sober Socializing in a Digital Age139
10Recovery Pride159
Resources177
Acknowledgments179
Notes181
Bibliography195
Index203
About the Author209
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