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Defy : the power of no in a world that demands yes

2025

Format:	Book
Author:	Sah, Sunita (Professor), author.
Title:	Defy : the power of no in a world that demands yes / Sunita Sah.
Edition:	First edition.
Publisher, Date:	New York : One World, an imprint of Random House, 2025.
Description:	xxviii, 280 pages : illustrations ; 24 cm illustration
Summary:	"Why is it so hard to speak up, even when we know something's wrong? This is the definitive book on defiance, a clear-eyed dissectionof the forces that silence us, featuring groundbreaking research and legendary stories alongside everyday examples and strategies for how to unleash the power of a "True No.""-- Publisher description.
Subjects:	Compliance -- Case studies. Conformity -- Case studies. Interpersonal relations. Assertiveness (Psychology)
Genre:	Case studies.
ISBN:	0593445775 (hardcover) 9780593445778 (hardcover) 9780593445778 Hardcover
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The author's definition of defy is "to act in accordance with your true values when there is pressure to do otherwise." We've been conditioned since early childhood to obey authorities, rules, and social norms. But what happens when we're asked to do something that we know is wrong? While most people, according to Sah, envision themselves standing up for the right thing, scientific studies and history prove differently. Drawing examples from Nazi Germany to the murder of George Floyd to the Challenger tragedy, Sah shows how difficult it actually is to defy authority. The key to standing up for what's right, says the author, is taking a moment to think about who you are (your personal values) and what a person like you would do in this situation. Sah doesn't downplay the costs of defying and doesn't expect us all to make heroic stands like some of her historical examples. But even small acts (questioning, refusing unnecessary tests, challenging a slur) can make a difference. She urges readers to build on their actions and mentally prepare for these situations in this inspiring call to action.

Summary

NATIONAL BESTSELLER * Imagine living the life you want to lead, not the one you're willing to accept. This profound but practical book offers clear steps to stop people pleasing and start living your truth.

"A powerful book. If you've ever compromised your principles to please others, Defy will give you the will--and skill--to stand up for yourself."--Adam Grant, #1 New York Times bestselling author of Think Again

In a moment when many of us are anxious and unsure what to do--whether we're confronting injustice on a social scale or facing something closer to home--award-winning researcher Dr. Sunita Sah offers simple strategies to activate your values.

How many times have you wanted to object, disagree, or opt out of something but ended up swallowing your words, shaking your head, and just going along? Featuring groundbreaking research, gripping stories, and easy everyday strategies, Defy reveals how to show up for yourself and others personally, professionally, and beyond. Dr. Sah's data-driven approach shows why everyone needs the power of defiance and how to build this essential skill.

Learn how to:
* Take simple steps to practice defying in low-stakes situations
* Decode your body's signals that it's time to defy
* Activate the superpower of taking responsibility for yourself and others
* Rehearse for challenging situations; get comfortable being uncomfortable
* Teach kids the difference between being "good" or obedient and doing the right thing, even when it's unpopular
* Spark a domino effect: defiance can be contagious.

Compliance is a constant, corrosive force in our society. But while it's pervasive, it's also preventable.

Table of Contents

	Introduction: Moving the Knee	xv
Part 1	A True Yes
1	Wired to Comply	3
2	Tension is Your Strength	19
3	Know Your True Yes	35
4	Break Free from influence	51
5	Reclaim Your Power	65
Part 2	A True No
6	Find Your True No	77
7	The False Defiance Trap	87
8	Who Gets to Defy?	98
9	Quiet Defiance	115
Part 3	Becoming a Moral Maverick
10	Who Am I?	135
11	The Right Place and Time	150
12	The Superpower of Responsibility	168
13	Level Up	184
14	You Don't Have to Be Brave	197
	Conclusion: Dare to Defy	213
	Reader's Guide
	A Conversation with Dr. Sunita Sah	223
	Glossary	227
	Appendix	229
	Discussion Questions	241
	Acknowledgments	245
	Notes	249
	Index	267
	About the Author	281

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