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Defy : the power of no in a world that demands yes
2025
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The author's definition of defy is "to act in accordance with your true values when there is pressure to do otherwise." We've been conditioned since early childhood to obey authorities, rules, and social norms. But what happens when we're asked to do something that we know is wrong? While most people, according to Sah, envision themselves standing up for the right thing, scientific studies and history prove differently. Drawing examples from Nazi Germany to the murder of George Floyd to the Challenger tragedy, Sah shows how difficult it actually is to defy authority. The key to standing up for what's right, says the author, is taking a moment to think about who you are (your personal values) and what a person like you would do in this situation. Sah doesn't downplay the costs of defying and doesn't expect us all to make heroic stands like some of her historical examples. But even small acts (questioning, refusing unnecessary tests, challenging a slur) can make a difference. She urges readers to build on their actions and mentally prepare for these situations in this inspiring call to action.
Summary
NATIONAL BESTSELLER * Imagine living the life you want to lead, not the one you're willing to accept. This profound but practical book offers clear steps to stop people pleasing and start living your truth.

"A powerful book. If you've ever compromised your principles to please others, Defy will give you the will--and skill--to stand up for yourself."--Adam Grant, #1 New York Times bestselling author of Think Again

In a moment when many of us are anxious and unsure what to do--whether we're confronting injustice on a social scale or facing something closer to home--award-winning researcher Dr. Sunita Sah offers simple strategies to activate your values.

How many times have you wanted to object, disagree, or opt out of something but ended up swallowing your words, shaking your head, and just going along? Featuring groundbreaking research, gripping stories, and easy everyday strategies, Defy reveals how to show up for yourself and others personally, professionally, and beyond. Dr. Sah's data-driven approach shows why everyone needs the power of defiance and how to build this essential skill.

Learn how to:
* Take simple steps to practice defying in low-stakes situations
* Decode your body's signals that it's time to defy
* Activate the superpower of taking responsibility for yourself and others
* Rehearse for challenging situations; get comfortable being uncomfortable
* Teach kids the difference between being "good" or obedient and doing the right thing, even when it's unpopular
* Spark a domino effect: defiance can be contagious.

Compliance is a constant, corrosive force in our society. But while it's pervasive, it's also preventable.
Table of Contents
Introduction: Moving the Kneexv
Part 1A True Yes
1Wired to Comply3
2Tension is Your Strength19
3Know Your True Yes35
4Break Free from influence51
5Reclaim Your Power65
Part 2A True No
6Find Your True No77
7The False Defiance Trap87
8Who Gets to Defy?98
9Quiet Defiance115
Part 3Becoming a Moral Maverick
10Who Am I?135
11The Right Place and Time150
12The Superpower of Responsibility168
13Level Up184
14You Don't Have to Be Brave197
Conclusion: Dare to Defy213
Reader's Guide
A Conversation with Dr. Sunita Sah223
Glossary227
Appendix229
Discussion Questions241
Acknowledgments245
Notes249
Index267
About the Author281
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