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Habits of a peacemaker : 10 habits to change our potentially toxic conversations into healthy dialogues

2024

Format:	Book
Author:	Collis, Steven T., 1978- author.
Title:	Habits of a peacemaker : 10 habits to change our potentially toxic conversations into healthy dialogues / Steven T. Collis.
Publisher, Date:	[Salt Lake City] : Shadow Mountain Publishing, [2024] ©2024
Description:	247 pages : illustrations ; 24 cm illustration
Summary:	"Steven T. Collis, one of the world's leading experts on civil discourse, reveals ten practical habits that can help you navigate the potential minefields of hard topics and leave you and those you converse with feeling thoughtful and productive"-- Provided by publisher. "Learn the practical skills that can help you build bridges, heal relationships, and engage in productive conversation about even the hardest topics. Imagine turning what could be a contentious conversation with a family member, a friend, or a coworker into a fruitful exchange that enlightens everyone's minds and inches both of you toward a solution. Steven T. Collis, one of the world's leading experts on civil discourse, reveals ten practical habits that can help you navigate the potential minefields of hard topics and leave you and those you converse with feeling thoughtful and productive. Most people have experienced the slippery slope of dialogue that descends into polarized argument. We yell at each other. We gaslight. We twist one another's words and meanings. We embrace facts that support our conclusions and ignore those that don't. Or we sit in silence, afraid to discuss anything of substance. If how you treat others matters to you, this book offers powerful new habits that can give you the confidence to engage in dialogue about hard topics while building and strengthening relationships. Learn successful habits that will allow you to, among other things: Reframe conversations to make them more productive; Engage in real learning by breaking free from technological manipulation; Ask questions of others to understand their true motivations; Recognize gaslighting and not allow it; Know when and how to use humor; Take time for long reflection; Embrace the discomfort of non-closure. Whether you're motivated by a desire for more fruitful discussions about politics or simply bringing more peace to your home, Habits of a Peacemaker offers you the tools to engage in constructive and healthy dialogue. "-- Provided by publisher.
Subjects:	Interpersonal communication. Conflict management.
Genre:	Self-help publications.
Other Title:	Habits of a peace maker
Notes:	Includes bibliographical references and index.
Contents:	Introduction -- Habit one : intellectual humility and reframing -- Habit two : seek real learning -- Habit three : assume the best about people -- Habit four : don't feed people's worst fears -- Habit five : hunt for the best argument against you -- Habit six : be open to change -- Habit seven : spend time with people -- Habit eight : a sliver of humor -- Habit nine : seek inner peace -- Habit ten : embrace the discomfort of non-closure.
LCCN:	2024009978
ISBN:	9781639932979 (hardback) 1639932976 * 9781649332974 (ebook)
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Library Journal Review

This is a brief and helpful guide for having difficult conversations at work or home and navigating the current political landscape. Collis, a First Amendment law professor (Univ. of Texas, Austin; Praying with the Enemy), emphasizes that even after years in his field, he still has a lot to learn about his chosen topic, such as the importance of having an open mind. He acknowledges that not knowing everything has helped him learn more from other people. He describes how social media is designed to keep people wanting another dopamine hit from online conflict and arguments and how susceptible people are to misinformation, while also teaching readers media literacy and ways to avoid falling victim to the algorithm. He balances his examples to be both "right" and "left" leaning, and his suggested habits are intended to help cultivate a new mindset with relatively small and simple actions. VERDICT A great companion to Amanda Ripley's High Conflict, this is an accessible and enjoyable guide to learning how to have open conversations and maintain civility with people readers agree and disagree with. Highly recommended.--Amanda Ray

Booklist Review

As a law professor who specializes in the First Amendment, Collis has had his share of uncomfortable conversations. In this logically argued book, his aim is to give readers strategies for defusing toxic conversations and coming up with usable solutions to today's problems. His advice sounds basic: assume the best about people, be open to change, and spend time with people with differing viewpoints. What gives his advice weight are the examples he gives from his own conversations and life experiences. It's not easy to keep an open mind when others are shouting at you or flinging daggers on social media. But Collis re-creates these volatile moments and demonstrates ways to reframe thoughts and find common ground. He urges everyone to seek out the strongest arguments against their own positions, and to search for opinions from reliable sources on both sides of the issues. Keeping your sense of humor, seeking inner peace, and embracing nonclosure are also recommended. In this time of sharp political divides and overwhelming feedback, Collis is a much-needed voice of reason and compromise.

Summary

Learn the practical skills that can help you build bridges, heal relationships, and engage in productive conversation about even the hardest topics.

Most people have experienced the slippery slope of dialogue that descends into -polarized argument. We yell at each other. We gaslight. We twist one -another's words and meanings. We embrace facts that support our conclusions and ignore those that don't. Or we sit in silence, afraid to discuss anything of substance. If how you treat others matters to you, this book offers powerful new habits that can give you the confidence to engage in dialogue about hard topics while building and strengthening relationships.

Imagine turning what could be a contentious conversation with a family member, a friend, or a coworker into a fruitful exchange that enlightens everyone's minds and inches both of you toward a solution. Steven T. Collis, one of the world's leading experts on civil -discourse, reveals ten practical habits that can help you navigate the potential minefields of hard topics and leave you and those you converse with feeling thoughtful and productive.

Whether you're motivated by a desire for more fruitful discussions about politics or simply bringing more peace to your home, Habits of a Peacemaker offers you the tools to engage in constructive and healthy dialogue.

Table of Contents

	Introduction	1
Habit 1	Intellectual Humility and Reframing	8
Habit 2	Seek Real Learning	26
Habit 3	Assume the Best about People	80
Habit 4	Don't Feed People's Worst Fears	124
Habit 5	Hunt for the Best Argument against You	143
Habit 6	Be Open to Change	166
Habit 7	Spend Time with People	182
Habit 8	A Sliver of Humor	190
Habit 9	Seek Inner Peace	204
Habit 10	Embrace the Discomfort of Non-Closure	213
	Epilogue	226
	Acknowledgments	227
	Notes	228
	Index	241

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